How do I find the motivation to write again? Are you depressed? Is it working for you? How are you so prolific? I just want to write a damn blog but as soon as I type the first word, I start thinking about who will read it and choke. Ugh. Somehow my f*#$ing dad found my blog. I don’t want to make another one. It’s already boring enough. And you know what I need to do is make a blog regarding health and shit, because I became a certified health coach this year, but with each day that passes I’m less motivated to pursue it. I feel like a stupid unmotivated loser. I’m doing NOTHING right now for money. I have another voiceover copy-editing job starting in mid-January, but it’s not going to be very life-affirming, to put it mildly. What to do, what to do?
Is there something we can team up and do? A little writer’s group? Are you already in on one? If so, I don’t want to jump in. I just want it to be fresh. I WANT FRESH. I need the drive to PRODUCE something of substance godammit because I feel like all of it is evaporating altogether. I have none left. I’m a poseur. I have nothing “going for me.” I’ve even been contemplating going back to school to maybe become a professor. That’s retarded. Not seriously, by the way. I don’t contemplate anything seriously. I just waste time. Help.
What to do what to do? Remember I used to write blogs? The internet has sucked every last bit of will to write right out of me. Even if I’m away from the internet I now have a phone that can access it. I don’t even spend that much time on facebook. I just wander the webbed hallways.
My family is crazy. I could write about their history. I always thought that they would make great subjects because of all the fucked-up shit they’ve done, but I couldn’t publish it til after their deaths. That’s just a procrastinator’s excuse, probably. Are drugs the answer?
Excited to read yer book.